When unexpected loss tore through the fabric of his family, Andrew unraveled. In the thick of his senior year of undergrad, his grandmother passed away. Unable to return home to say goodbye, he turned to relationship after relationship as this unexpected cycle of death began. Just a few months later, his college voice teacher died, a man who had become a second father to him. Three months later, Andrew got a call the morning after his birthday, learning his Uncle James had been killed in a motorcycling accident, taken at 38 years young with his third child on the way. Six months later—amidst his fighting for justice, understanding and a broken heart for the loss of his baby boy— Andrew’s grandfather suffered a stroke and passed away. One month after this, Andrew’s great grandmother.

    

Confronted by this immense and all-consuming death, he created connections with men in every season, convinced that each new relationship was his answer to healing the grief he’d gotten so good at avoiding. His mission to find a partner whom he could love, fix, crave, or boast about became the addictive quick fix to hide from himself, his loss, and even his childhood abuse that sex was now triggering in him. 

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He moved to NYC after graduation, just to flee the city months later to something new from the fear of growing roots there. He traveled the world by ship, performing for thousands, but his chase didn’t end there. Andrew fell in love while working on his ship and moved to Australia upon concluding his contract, convinced this was the relationship that would change everything. Not even one week in, his choices were turned upside down and he was faced with a decision, and the decision he made changed everything.  

Andrew’s world filled up with more bravery and truth than he could fathom, the very moment he finally defined his existence himself—instead of through the eyes of his mother, his queerness, his abuse, his string of lovers, and his crushing grief. 

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In Finding Brave, Norlen names each chapter after a different man, and names each man by the quality and lesson he gained during the time spent with each of them, amidst his unending loss.

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Growing up in the church, Andrew’s idea of identity was always rooted in marriage, or the aspiration of marriage, but heterosexual marriage. Fighting to feel loved by the kind of person he wished to love was an exhausting battle—a reality for so many LGBTQIA+ young people today.

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Andrew’s memoir bridges that gap. First, for a generation of parents—just like his mother—presenting them with a book from someone like their child. Secondly—and most importantly—Finding Brave will empower a young, queer individual to listen to their own vulnerability and share their story, without apology. 

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Finding Brave gives words to anyone who needs to know that the way they love is okay. Men are taught to be strong, tough, and “the best”—but here, Andrew champions vulnerability, kindness, and finding bravery from within.