I live on a ship now. This is crazy.
I am just now writing this today because it was my first day off in about three weeks.
I don’t even know where to begin….it all has happened so fast and i have barely had enough time to stop myself and really look out the windows of the vessel and take in the enormity of the beautiful sea we are riding through. The other afternoon I was sitting on the back patio of the spa on the back of the ship and finally had a moment to relax and realized how small I felt. It was incredibly scary while entirely humbling at the same time. In that moment I had a gut level realization of what I have gotten myself into and it gave me so much perspective.
So I have now been on the ship for 14 days (which has felt like 27 years, if I’m being honest) and it has been a MASSIVE adjustment to say the least.
Tiny living quarters, new food, the ship moves, strange rules that I still find a way to break somehow accidentaly, the ship moves, back to back shows in one night (marathon!), and did i mention that the ship moves?!
SIDE NOTE: If you are looking for a good laugh from this post, this is the kicker….i promise… So its been two weeks, we have fully finished installing and teaching the show and to date we have only done the show so far 8 times for an audience. In the last two weeks however, i have managed to not only fall over on my ass onstage during my ballet solo in the funeral scene at the top of the show, but i have managed to fall off of the stage and into the front row of the audience during the casino scene. I think its now becoming a talent of mine…to fall over during the play. So the fall onstage happened because the ship was incredibly rocky that night and it was moving like crazy, now remember that we are all men and women in high heels most of the show, dancing with huge headdresses on and often standing all our weight on one foot. i was a mess in the ballet solo and went to kick and fell and almost corkscrew turned out of it as i fell to the ground and I guess some people that it was on purpose, so I’m going to take that version of the story to the bank and roll with it. So then the fall into the audience had nothing to do with the ship moving, but everything to do with me putting on the wrong pair of nude heels for the scene and I walk onstage and get to my mark to start dancing and as I turn my toes are standing onto of pieces of confetti from earlier in the show and under that is the plexiglass catwalk part of the stage…I keep dancing and as I go to turn upstage to leave that section i loose my balance on the confettii and fall for what felt like a lifetime off of the stage about two feet down to the front row. I didn’t look at anyone, i tried to find my balance and after i was done watching my very life flash before my eyes, I jumped as best I could in my skin tight white pencil skirt and got back on the stage for the next section. (I found out today that our dance captain has a video of this moment, recorded. I would like to make millions on some reality TV show based off of how stupid I was in this moment)
But other than me trying to “defy gravity” every two shows and failing miserably, the show is amazing. It is so satisfying to be a part of a cast and a company that is telling such an important story of acceptance, love, understanding and celebration of what makes us all uniquely ourselves. I couldn’t ask for a better job if i tried. I feel blessed beyond measure to be surrounded by such incredible and talented artists and human beings. and after all of that, we get to travel the world together and see some amazing stuff.
the last two weeks have been immensely difficult and I have wanted to quit more times than I ever have before in my life. My patience is thin, my heart is heavy, my body is tired and my mind is fried with information overload. But then reality hits me and I remember that I get to make people smile while they are on vacation…..for a living !!!! So then while I’m putting on my fishnets, glitter lip and wigs I realize that what I am here to do everyday is not quite as trivial as it may seem to me in the difficult moments. Ship life is going to be hard, thats a given. But the choice I have everyday is to decide how I perform on stage and how I can show others around me the love and acceptance we preach about in the show.
All the men in the cast at the opening night after party!
JP, Tomas and Myself in our finale "Emu" look, wearing our beautiful custom made make-up masks.
My Young Bernadette costume.